Friday, September 9, 2011

Happy days, good days, sad days

It’s been a blank blog for a while, what with summer holidays and children home from school and visitors to our home in sunny Spain, it’s been a hectic two months...but it’s back to reality now, the reality of work and routines, early mornings and homework. Work for me and husband and busy, hot school days for the children.
There’s another reason that the blog has been blank for a while and that’s because I’ve been feeling sad. I’m not a fan of misery memoirs and I don’t like glossy magazines that share the woes of the last celebrity big thing. So as well as having a busy summer I have also been blog avoiding because I naturally want to share the joys and not the sadnesses in life. The sadnesses seem a little too close, a bit personal...
At the beginning of the summer we were planning to get two dogs, we’d named them already and we did actually have them for a week. Sadly, we found out (thanks to a kind and marvellous vet) that one of the dogs had a heart condition. This doesn’t sound much but it can mean reduced life span (early death) and a poorly dog. Medication forever and never knowing if the dog would survive another year.
To some people that may have been a small thing, but my coping mechanisms collapsed when we found out that Piper (we’d named her that) was ill. I could not cope, I felt hopeless and sad and afraid. It was and remains a big trauma. We’d already become attached to her, even though we’d only had her a few hours....
The breeder offered to take Piper back and after much soul searching, we decided that would be our best option. We sent both dogs back because they were inseparable, they did everything together and we didn’t want to separate them.
It was a very sad week, the week we became, very briefly, pet owners. We don’t think we’ll think about it again, it’s been too much heartache and a reminder that emotions can stir up all sorts of difficulties and tempests in life. I feel sad and guilty and lost...the whole experience filled up my sadness scale too much and my coping scale could not balance out...
It was eight weeks’ ago now and I am finally able to write about the dogs although it still makes me feel sad.
Hopefully, will be back to regular blogging now. It’s been lovely to see some new followers, thanks for joining, you have cheered me up on my return...

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