How to make 16 litres of the purest olive oil.

Step One
Buy a beautiful house in Spain with a rather bare and dusty garden, the garden has three lovely looking olive trees, as well as three other small trees that bear some sort of small fruit, but you´re not really sure.
Step Two
Completely neglect the garden, as your priority is to get the house sorted for your own comfort and your children. Focus on the house and pool. Occasionally remember to water the trees. Periodically notice that one tree is very large and keeps bashing into the gate as you open and close it to leave the house. Spend large amounts of money on the house.
Step Three
Notice that the olive trees seem to have an abundance of green olives on them. Other than watering them intermittently, ignore them.
Step Four
Do a desultory search on the internet about when to harvest olives as you are utterly clueless. See an article about deep watering the trees. Spend a couple of minutes, with four year old daughter helping, watering the olive trees, feeling a bit guilty.
Step Five
Notice that some black olives are being blown onto path; they look ripe, wonder what to do. Notice that one particular tree is very overladen with weighty olives which are dragging the branches down to the ground…hmmmmmm
Step Six
Have a conversation with friendly neighbours about picking some green olives as they have a recipe for them
Step Seven
Overhear some folks at work talking about taking their olive crop to be pressed. They swapped their weighed olives for oil! Yippee! Immediately ask where olive pressing place is, only to find it is miles from your own home. Thankfully, kind Spanish member of staff offers to take your olives for you if you drop them off at school!
Step Eight
Discuss olive pressing plan with neighbours, agree to meet at weekend to pick olives, neighbours will take green olives for a recipe and remainder will be taking for squashing
Step Nine
Neighbours come over at weekend to help pick. Thankfully they are equipped with plastic for the ground (to catch dropped olives), sticks for beating the tree so that olives fall off, and baskets for collecting.
Spend a good part of 6 hours picking olives, supervising 4 and 7 year old as they beat the olive trees, chatting to Spanish neighbours. Become ridiculously upset each time you accidentally step on an olive and crush all the oil out of it. Become obsessed with getting as many olives off the tree as possible. Realise that the trees have an enormous number of olives on them. Realise that picking olives is thankless. Realise why olive oil is so expensive.
Step ten
Clear up plastic, sort green olives from ripe ones, sweep path. Realise that you have about 80kg of olives in back of car. Discuss with neighbours re-convening on Tuesday as there is one final tree to strip!
Step Eleven
Drive olives into work and drop them off in kind Spanish colleagues car…realise that they are quite heavy! As you drive out of gate, look up at “stripped” olive tree and realise there´s a whole section that four adults and two children have completely missed, it is jam packed full of olives!!
Step Twelve
Meet with neighbours and strip third tree. This is quicker as you are now experts at laying plastic, climbing tree and stripping olives. Also, final tree is smaller! After final tree is stripped, jokingly comment to neighbours about section missed on first tree, at which point, they lay down plastic…strip final section of first tree, which yields about another 15 kg!
Step Twelve
Colleague brings in your olive oil!! 16 litres in exchange for your 80kg, they normally give 15 litres per 100 kg, but apparently your olives are particularly good quality (obviously because of the love and care you have lavished upon them!) And you still have the olives from the third tree and the remnants from the first tree in the back of your car! Give 2 litres to kind Spanish colleague, who says it is too much. Insist that he takes it! Share half of remaining olive oil with neighbours. Plan to give some of your share as Christmas gift. Feel very happy with your first harvest!! Wonder how many more litres you will get from final buckets in the back of your car! Begin to wonder about pruning trees for next year…

THE END

Modern Classics – The Handmaid´s Tale by Margaret Atwood

As a feminist, I have a fascination with the similarities between the religions of the world that are so opposed to each other in so many different ways but seem to have so many common elements. One of those elements, inescapable in Atwood´s novel, is the subjugation and persecution of women in the name of religious beliefs.
Over the last 15 years, the veil has moved into the public consciousness as a symbol of female persecution and male dominance. It´s a debate that´s well worth having and one that is alive and well in a number of Muslim countries. It´s a question for another blog whether the veil is any more offensive than the g string or thong, is the morality of covering up any better or worse than the overt sexuality of clothing and advertising in our world?
In Atwood´s novel, the veil is certainly a symbol of the control and power than men have over women´s lives. The genius of Atwood is that she takes existing ideas from current society, like religious extremism in parts of America and some Arab states, and pushes them to the very worst possible case scenario. By doing so, she forces us to turn a mirror upon the religions that would prefer a woman to be subject to the needs and desires of the male. She forces us to think about sexuality and the way that it can be controlled and destroyed by patriarchal control in the name of religion.
Ultimately, Atwood is a great modern feminist and an utterly brilliant modern writer. By setting The Handmaids Tale in a seemingly post apocalyptic future, we see the horrors of dictatorial control over women. We see men as military fascists, herding women and treating them as a lesser breeding tool. The most wonderful and frightening aspect of the novel is that the beliefs within it are alive and well in this century, right here, right now, no need for an apocalyptic disaster to push some on the America right to an even greater desire to control women. The irony is of course that America went to war on terror to give people greater freedom, but that excludes the freedom for women. The other irony is that those on the far right of American society have a great hatred of Muslim cultural traditions and yet the extremists on both sides have very much in common when it comes to female sexuality and power.
It´s a fantastic, exciting read. It does not have to be read as an overt political text and I´m sure Atwood wouldn´t necessarily want it to be. However, many women in the world today are suffering under culturally prohibitive patriarchal mores. Many other women are living in the mythology of the cultural enrichment of breast enhancement and surgery leading to the perfect woman. Many women are repressed by the veil; others are repressed by a culture that values female beauty and submission above all other qualities. It´s a novel worth reading for the exciting story line and Atwood´s visionary writing. It´s also a novel worth reading to reclaim feminism as a battle worth the continuing fight.

Life in Spain – Part Four – Toothache!

OK, so you move to a foreign country in the hope of a better life/pay cheque/school/society whatever. Then something happens that makes you wish you were back home – even if only temporarily. Yes, I’ve chipped a back molar. I was eating lovely sugar roasted almonds (Spanish speciality) and a bit of my tooth fell off. Thankfully it’s a small piece so I am not in pain but my imagination has gone into overdrive. Visiting the dentist is awful in the best case scenario (familiar dentist, speaking English, comfy chair!) and now, horror of horrors, I have to go to a new, unfamiliar dentist who may not have a comfy chair. Oh No! The temptation of course is to put the dentist appointment off as long as possible, but that’s not good. I just have to grit my teeth and find a dentist, preferably an English speaking one (although does it really matter when you’re in the chair unable to speak for the sound of the scary drill grinding away at the bones in your mouth?)

I’m not happy...

Patrick Ness – The Chaos Walking Trilogy

Some may quibble about the definition of the book, it could arguably move quite easily from post apocalyptic to sci-fi, primarily because it is based on another planet. The question of how to define or categorise the trilogy could make a lively book club discussion for any of the healthy book clubs out there willing and able to take on a trilogy to read and discuss!! Within the novel there are also elements of a classical hero´s journey, with Todd the protagonist embarking on a series of adventures in search of redemption, survival and peace.

As discussed in depth on other pages of this blog, the trilogy has a number of shared thematic links with other post apocalyptic fiction. The individual´s moral dilemmas in times of conflict, the power of redemptive love and the hope for future generations encompassed in individuals who sometimes make moral misjudgments but at heart seem to be good people!

The original premise of the book is genius and although it wobbles at times over the course of the trilogy, it undeniably forms one of those fantastic mind bending ideas that stick in the creative part of your brain, whirring and tickling away in the recesses of head. You´ll forget the novel for months on end and then just suddenly think “Now that was a really clever idea”.

 The premise is that on the planet where Todd lives, the men can hear each other’s thoughts. There is no privacy, no lying and no polite concealing of reality. All thoughts are shared, whether you want to or not, they are heard by other men.

The opening chapters of first novel “The Knife of never letting go”, begin with Todd trying to escape capture…only it´s difficult to hide from people when they can hear your thoughts! The pace is relentless in the first book and pretty much follows the same pattern in the next two, with Todd running away from his enemies and trying to survive against difficult odds. He picks up a few friends along the way, loses others and makes some enemies too.

The indigenous population of the planet is also an interesting creation, their role develops over the course of the trilogy, finally providing some hope of a solution to the agony of hearing each other’s thoughts for the human inhabitants.

The novel explores gender differences, the guerilla tactics of the ´freedom fighter´ women versus the war obsessed and battle ready army men led by a possibly insane megalomaniac male! Todd provides a counterbalance as a sympathetically drawn, innocent male character. One of the exciting elements of the book is the audience’s wait to see if he will become corrupted by the veniality around him or whether he will retain his innocence and desire for peace and calm imbued through his earlier family life.

The new generation of settlers on to the planet seems to bring a hope of a peaceful resolution in the final novel, but they are quickly embroiled in the political landscape, debating the morality of violent action as the first action on arrival on the planet. For a while it seems that there can be no escape from war. Eventually, however, Todd and his friends do find the redemption that they have been searching for throughout the trilogy. Ness ends the hero´s journey in a classical way, with Todd´s final battle culminating in a sort of ending, an ending for Todd and a hope of some sort of resurrection that may lead to a future elixir of hope for the planet as a whole.

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

The interesting thing about visions of a dystopian future is the way that they take our modern concerns, trends and scientific developments and take them to their horrific extreme, it´s never (or rarely) a glorious extreme, it always seems to be the horror that fascinates and intrigues the writer and the reader. Is it our fascination with cruel human instincts pushed to their extreme that draws us to this type of literature? Or is it always the hope of redemption that keeps us reading until the final pages?

Suzanne Collins takes the gratuitous voyeurism that has rewarded the show Big Brother with huge success and turned the phenomenon to its most extreme. There´s a part of the human instinct that is both repulsed and fascinated by humans trapped together and forced into a series of unappetising or repugnant acts. The show has spawned many more of its ilk, with television producers flocking like sheep to catch the success of ´reality television´ and make their own profits and professional success and glory from the humiliation of others.

The Hunger Games takes Big Brother to its dystopian extreme. Children from each ´district´ entering a battle to the death against each other, with only the survivor winning the final prize, the glory, the extra food for their ´district´ and their life. In the process, of course, they have become a vicious, bloodthirsty killer, intent only on survival, culling all humanity from their bodies in striving for success. A success that is defined by a sick society.

The novel also touches on our modern fascination with image, plastic surgery and enhancement of our physical attributes, again taken to the extreme. The teenagers in the story very quickly come to realize that their appearance, the editing of the show and the things they say (or are perceived to have said) are often more important than the reality of human relationships and the complexities of moral judgements.

Katniss Everdeen is a wonderful protagonist, strongly supported by the range of fascinating characters within the novel. She is a hunter, a loner, a daughter and perhaps, most importantly, a survivor. In the manner of a modern day and younger Sarah Connor, Katniss will do what she can in order to ensure her survival. By the same token, she cares about her family and others too and this is the saving grace within the dark and depressing landscape that she lives. Katniss seeks redemption and, through her, the reader too hopes for a society that can change for the better.

The trilogy is a fast paced and gripping read. We follow Katniss´ complex journey from survivor of the Hunger Games to a symbol of hope for society against oppression. We encounter evil leaders and complex freedom fighters. From the beginning to the conclusion, Collins never lets the reader rest, with a broad range of physical tests and adventures for Katniss, accompanied by  countless explorations of the moral dilemmas faced by our heroine. There are also conflicts faced by the people around her and we gain an insight into the workings of society and the morality of the huge economic differences between us. Despite being a novel set sometime in a post apocalyptic future, there are parallels that are well worth exploring and considering for the reader.

Modern Classics – Brother in the Land by Robert Swindells

Does it make me sound a bit strange if I say I like post apocalyptic novels? There´s nothing like a good old dystopian vision to keep me turning the pages. So, I am hoping to devote the next few blog entries to my favourite post apocalyptic visionaries (The books are not reviewed in any particular order. However, I am quite pedantic about the fact that Margaret Atwood´s three novels, I sincerely believe, MUST be read in chronological order!)

I´m beginning with Brother in the Land purely because I have just read it. It´s on the syllabus at the school I´ve just moved to work at, so I need to familiarise myself with the text and find ways of making it interesting to young people. It shouldn´t be a difficult task (although, sometimes teaching a text can feel like slowly killing it for both pupils and teacher…saying that I still adore Lord of the Flies, which I´ve taught, with some breaks, for over a decade).

Swindells is unforgiving in his stark portrayal of human nature and the failings of the human race. Echoes of the brutality of survival have travelled onwards and forwards to contemporary post apocalyptic novels such as The Road by Cormac McCarthy. If you enjoyed The Road, it´s interesting to see what Swindells was doing in this genre so many years ago.

Fears of nuclear holocaust seem to have subsided since my teenage years (when this book was published) and some elements from the very beginning of the book do set it in a particular time and place. Nonetheless, the cruelty of man and the hope in love are timeless themes. They reach a sad and quiet conclusion in the book, “not with a bang but with a whimper”, this is a quality I admire in Swindells, he doesn´t soften the edges for his teenage audience and there is little hope of a happy end. The bitter reality is shared.

The story follows the grim reality of life for Danny, the young protagonist. He meets adulthood and responsibility, moral dilemmas and the reality of horrific death in the early stages of the book. A gradual breakdown follows, both of his society and the people around him. There is some hope in the shape of Branwell´s farm and the community values it encompasses, but it is tentative.

Danny is a likeable young man, trying to do the right thing for himself and his brother. There are elements of a hero´s journey in the novel, with Danny’s quest being for his own survival with some mentors along the way and a brief light of hope and love. The story crackles along at a great pace, with the reader desperate to find some hope of survival. Like Danny, we are perpetually waiting for ´The Authorities´ to come along and make everything alright again. Needless to say, it doesn´t quite happen like that.

It´s a great, quick read. Remember it´s a children´s book, so if you don´t like teenage fiction - avoid - there will be grown up post apocalyptic novels reviewed too. If you´re a teacher, it´s worth a read just for Swindells’ great portrayal of what happens to P.E teachers post apocalypse (it has to be remembered that Swindells trained as a teacher before becoming a writer, so the portrayal must be accurate!)

Post Script: My husband (the pedantic historian) says that the title post apocalyptic novel is an anachronism, or was that an oxymoron…because if it were post apocalyptic, there wouldn't be anyone around as it would have been an apocalypse....he's being a pain in the backside and deliberately so, to provoke a response. I suppose the fascination with post apocalypse is would we be capable of surviving? If we did would we be able to create a better society? Swindells, Atwood, McCarthy and Philip K Dick all explore that theme, with wonderful results. Although the nuclear holocaust scenario may no longer be at the forefront of our everyday concerns, there are still preoccupations with global climate change, War, cloning and its consequences, scientific experimentation, peak oil and the ultimate demise of man. Great civilisations have risen and declined, we have not always learnt the lessons of history. Perhaps the fascination with post apocalyptic novels is to do with wanting to change for the better and wondering if humanity can ever achieve it...

Life in Spain - Part Three - Carpentry

Our new house is beautiful. We are very lucky to have been able to buy it. The process was costly and traumatic at times but we're here now, with beautiful views of the mountains and the sea (a great distance away!) One of the many things that appealed to us about the house was the space. Lots of wardrobe space in all the bedrooms for us and the kids to store clothes and toys and other miscellaneous stuff that we have gathered as a family. When we arrived, we realised that the wardrobes are large, with loads of hanging space for clothes, but... no shelving at all.
Thankfully, our helpful Estate Agent (I know it seems like an oxymoron, but in the current economic climate they have to try their best and he really is a very nice man!) has put us in touch with the carpenter who lives next door to the man who built our house. They both live down the road from us..it's all very community based here! The carpenter is called Felix and is lovely, he is also Spanish and does not speak any English. My Spanish is ok, if a bit limited.
The first time Felix came around, he came with our friendly Estate Agent who translated (I said he was a nice man didn't I!) I was at a party (with Owain and lots of other 7 year olds). So husband explained to Felix about the bookshelves we want built upstairs to house our massive collection of books. He then delegated the wardrobes to me, explaining to Felix that he would have to talk to me about the wardrobes...fair enough, I had some plans in my mind about what I wanted where in terms of shelf space.
So Felix came around on Tuesday and I muddled my way through, using the dictionary for words like shelf and drawer which were not parts of my Spanish repertoire previously. Felix was very patient and with hand gestures and post it notes with pictures on, we managed to muddle our way through. He taught me a new word for shelf (it wasn't in the dictionary!). He also grinned at my own cardboard shelving, which I'd muddled out of boxes as a temporary measure when we first arrived. He also found it very entertaining that Steve (husband) had insisted that Felix spoke to me about the wardrobes, delegating that evidently wifely domain, to me!
I'm looking forward to seeing what the shelves in the wardrobes are going to look like...translation and communication, it's a great way of finding humility! I have no idea if my ideas and Felix' ideas about what will eventually happen in the wardrobes have any common ground at all. We can only hope...he certainly looks like a craftsman.
As he left, Felix gave me a great big smile (he's a rugged looking man, he looks like a carpenter who works in the sun a lot, a smile made a huge difference to his face!), he said that he was sure that I would be speaking Spanish within a year. particularly as I am a 'profesora' (teacher). I assured him that I am, ironically enough, an English teacher! He still said that he thinks I will be speaking Spanish soon enough. At least I think that's what he said...